A Blog Called Everything

queer girls living with straight partners are NOT living in a state of “straight privilege.” because they’re NOT STRAIGHT.

they may have passing privilege—but as others who are infinetly smarter than i am have pointed out—this is not straight up privilege—because it is a site of *oppression* (through invisibilization and erasure that affects more than just bi girls) that our social sorting strategies only allow straight/gay man/woman man/man and women/women relationships.

so yeah, i don’t know what to call it what bi girls living with straight partners are doing—but i DO know that it’s not straight privilege.

angrybanette:

also please remember that historical non-hetero relationships are often used to out you and deny you privilege even if you’re currently in a hetero or hetero passing one.

also poly people

also sometimes people talk about who they’re attracted to, thereby losing their straight passing privilege

dearjimmoriarty:

I hate that this is a thing that needs to be said.

(via andimprouvaire)

A recent Boise State University study of 484 heterosexual women showed that “50% of the women had fantasies about other women that involved some kind of sexual experience”. Does this mean they’re bisexual? Lesbian? Bicurious? Who knows and, to a degree, who cares? We don’t need to label every thought that comes into our minds, unless doing so helps us in some way. I’d imagine that there are plenty of heterosexual men who’ve entertained a homoerotic fantasy at some point, but are reluctant to admit that for fear that doing so would “make” them gay. The same goes for sadomasochism and dominance and submission. Plenty of people get off to BDSM scenarios they wouldn’t necessarily want to try, yet too many are ashamed of these fantasies and don’t even fully admit them for fear of being seen as somehow deviant, when the fact is that eroticising power, helplessness and pain are extremely common.

Attraction and action are two distinct things. Sometimes they are one and the same, and visualising yourself in a given sexual situation will lead to wanting to pursue it, but not always. We need to put a higher value on the act of fantasising and recognise that it can help revive a relationship or be a tool in figuring out what arouses us. Maybe you fantasise about being with someone other than your longterm partner, or watching them with someone, or having sex in an exotic location, or being watched, or something that couldn’t ever happen in real life. Allowing yourself the freedom to simply explore what turns you on, sans judgment, is important.

Rachel Kramer Bussel (Our fantasies say less about us than we think | Comment is free | guardian.co.uk)

(via sexisnottheenemy)

What we need to let ourselves do is acknowledge that sex is a big deal for some people, and really not a big deal for others. We need to get better at saying “Eh, that’s not really my thing, but if you like it, rock on with your cock on” and meaning it. Otherwise, we will only continue to be opaque to each other. We will miss the enormous pain in someone who would really like to get some, but isn’t. We will miss the pain in someone who doesn’t want to have sex but feels obligated to. We will miss all the people who can’t reconcile the contradiction between their utterly filthy fantasies and the social role they find themselves in. Understanding can only arise from acknowledging our mutual incomprehension.

Libidos, Assumptions, and Miscommunication | No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz? (via sexisnottheenemy)

(via sexisnottheenemy)

secondlina:

A comic about the different types of attraction one might feel. I saw these floating around on tumblr. These were originally taken from a website about asexuality. Although, I think people who are not asexual feel these regularly too. There’s all kinds of attractions for all kinds of people. Enjoy.

(via fuckyeahsexpositivity)

Gender Identity e.g. man, woman, transgender, third gender, gender variant, etc.

Gender Expression e.g. masculine, feminine, androgynous

Biological Sex e.g. male, female, intersex

Sexual Orientation e.g. homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, androsexual, gynesexual, etc.

Romantic Orientation e.g. homoromantic, heteromantic, biromantic, panromantic, aromantic, etc.

(via )